How to Set Healthy Boundaries: Your No BS Guide
Your personal boundary is not as obvious as a fence or a giant billboard with a “No Trespassing” sign.
If anything, you can liken your personal boundary to an invisible bubble.
While your personal boundary can be tricky to navigate, setting and communicating them is crucial to your safety, health, and overall well-being.
Setting personal boundaries is also an integral part of developing self-love.
Your No BS Guide to Setting Boundaries
Have you felt exhausted or out of place because of someone?
It is likely that someone just crossed your boundary without knowing it.
Setting and honoring your boundaries is not rocket science.
You can always learn to take charge of your life if you want to.
Whether your goal is to set clearer rules or assert your space, below are some awesome ways you can get started.
Guide #01: Be Assertive
If you are assertive when setting your boundaries, it would come across as firm yet kind to others.
Assertive language is straightforward, non-negotiable, and clear.
It is also non-threatening to others.
You can assert what you want by using I statements.
For instance, you can say something like, “I feel ___ when ___ because ___.”
Or you can say something like, “What I need is ____.”
I statements can make you appear confident by allowing you to express your feelings, thoughts, and opinions without worrying about what others think.
Guide #02: Learn to Say No
Contrary to popular belief, no is a complete sentence.
Often you might be hesitant to say no without offering additional information.
However, it is not necessary to explain yourself or your decision.
If someone asks to dance with you or ask for your number, you can say no if you are not comfortable.
If a co-worker asks that you change shifts, you can say no if you have something else planned or if you don’t want to.
You don’t need to offer any excuse or explanation.
Guide #03: Safeguard Your Space
You can also set boundaries for your emotional and physical space, stuff, and your time and energy without announcing it.
A study indicated that being expected to answer work-related emails during non-work timeframes will not only create relationship conflicts, it can also decrease your well-being.
As an adult you have the right to secure your account and personal tech.
You also have the right to keep your messages private.
Communicating boundaries with your significant other regarding digital devices is one habit you should start developing.
Guide #04: Get Support or Assistance
Asserting and defining your boundaries can get tricky if you or a loved one has depression, anxiety, history of trauma or other mental illness.
For instance, if you are a sexual assault survivor, you might require people to ask your permission first before they touch you.
If you are experiencing difficulties setting boundaries, getting the help of a mental health professional is recommended.
Over to You
While they often take a backseat, boundaries are crucial. Boundaries can clue you in on behaviors that might be harmful or detrimental. Don’t push your instincts aside just because some people think it’s unreasonable. If someone pushes or violates your boundaries consistently, listen to your gut. It is also ideal that you ask people to be honest with you when it comes to their boundaries.